WC: 1,260
“Ugh,” Nick groans. He and Barret were currently walking home on a Friday afternoon. School had let out a minute ago, but they were lollygagging, as always.
“What’s up?” Barret asks, curious. “Did you leave your headphones in Social Studies again?”
“God, no,” Nick says, rolling his eyes. “Alec gave me one last chance before he just straight up stole them. Do you know how much these things cost?”
“$69.99,” Barret answers immediately. Nick turns to it and blinks, dumbfounded. Barret smiles and rolls its eyes. “You told me, remember? Because it was 69 dollars even though I know you paid 72 for it?”
“Okay wait, how do you know that,” Nick asks. “Like, yes okay. I totally did tell you about it being 69 dollars. ‘Cause like, nice.”
“Nice,” Barret agrees.
“But like, how the hell did you know about the extra money.” He says it flat, like he does most of his questions.
“It was an Amazon purchase, man. Tax always adds up.”
“Oh,” Nick says. “Yeah, okay. That makes sense.”
Barret nods. “Anyways, what’s up?”
“Oh right,” Nick jolts. “Dude, I am like, so hungry.” His stomach growls. “See?”
Barret laughs. “Okay, I get the picture. Where do you wanna go? I’m game for anything.” It squints immediately. “Just don’t say—”
“Wendy’s!” Nick cheers, cutting Barret off. He grabs its hand and begins to sprint forward “Fuck yes! Let’s g—” He cuts off with a gag, stopped before he can even begin running properly.
Barret has Nick’s hand in his, their two arms both extended to their full lengths. “Nope,” Barret says, unmoving. “We are not going to Wendy’s.”
Nick groans. “Oh, not this shit again.”
“The nuggets are totally bogus, man!” Barret defends. “I am not eating bogus nuggets today!”
“First of all,” Nick starts, as he always does, “The nuggets? Rock. Second of all, they sell other shit, you know.”
“Other stuff that also sucks!” Barret pouts, letting go of Nick’s hand and crossing its arms. “Let’s go to McDonalds. I love McDonalds.”
“Bar, we always go to McDonalds.” Nick pulls Barret’s hand out of its crossed arms and tugs. “C’moooon. It’s just one Wendy’s trip in the sea that is McDonalds orders. You can do one day without Mickey D’s.”
“Every single time we go to Wendy’s you think getting like, half of the menu is perfectly alright,” Barret protests. “And, frankly, I don’t feel like carrying out seven different bags today.”
“Firstly, don’t call me Frank,” Nick jokes. “Secondly, you know it’s just ‘cause I get stuff for Clove and Kim.”
“But not your dad, right?” Barret starts, trying something. “Because he doesn’t like Wendy’s, ri—”
“Don’t use my fuckin’ dad against me again, Bar,” Nick says, deadpanned. “You know that doesn’t even work on me.”
“Always worth a shot, though,” Barret smiles.
“Totally not, but whatever helps you sleep at night.”
“Okay well, look,” Barret says, moving on, “I’m not going to Wendy’s today. It’s just not happening.”
“Well you know I don’t want shit from McDonalds. None of it has… what’s that shit called?” He frowns and thinks hard. “It doesn’t have any like… fuck. You’re not allowed to make fun of me if I fuck this up.”
“Okay,” Barret nods, already fighting back laughter.
“It doesn’t have any fuckin’ uh…” He waves a hand in the air. “Gender say qwah?”
Barret bursts into laughter immediately.
“Hey!” Nick pouts. “What the hell did I just say?”
“I am not making fun of you!” Barret says truthfully through laughter. “Laughing does not count.”
“It totally does!” Nick bites back.
“Does not,” Barret replies, starting to recover. “If it counted I would be winning in the Making Fun of Nick Competition. Which I am not.”
Nick rolls his eyes. “Yeah, ‘cause Clove’s got a patent on making and winning at that. But you’re definitely in second place.”
“Second’s the best, first’s the worst~” Barret singsongs.
Nick pushes it lightly. “Oh, come the fuck on. Don’t bring out the playground rhymes.”
Barret gasps. “Oh! Playground!”
Nick blinks. “What.”
Barret smiles. “I just thought of how to solve our debacle.”
“Debacle, nice,” Nick smirks. “Coco teach you that one?”
“I’m naturally inclined,” Barret jokes, changing the way they were walking. “Anyways, let’s go to the park near here.”
“Why?” Nick asks, following along anyways.
“You like swinging still, don’t you?”
“You know I didn’t win those swing competitions just to hang up the towel,” Nick brags.
“Awesome.” Barret leads them to the park with ease. “Get ready to go up against your hardest opponent ever, then.”
“Oh what, you?” Nick scoffs. “No offense Bar, but I was three years runnin’. I doubt you can beat me.”
“You were in kindergarten,” Barret deadpans. “I think I can beat a kindergartner.”
“You’ll eat those words,” Nick smirks, self assured. “You will fucking eat those words.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Barret laughs, rolling his eyes. His cheeks burned a little.
The two of them talk about nothing as they make their way to the park proper, and then the swings.
“We have no official,” Nick says as they approach. “Who’s gonna tell me I won?”
“No one,” Barret says slyly, “But I’ll tell you when you lose.”
“Oh, what the fuck ever,” Nick says, rolling his eyes and taking a seat. “C’mon then, Bar Bar. See if you can beat a champion at his craft.”
“Oh, I will,” Barret smirks, sitting as well. “You know they say wind speed gets reduced the heavier you are?”
“What the hell does that mean?” Nick asks.
“It means while you’ll be fighting to go forwards, I’ll be coasting through this.” Barret says, sticking its tongue out playfully.
“Oh yeah?” Nick asks.
“Yeah!” Barret laughs. “We’ll go on three. Whoever’s left swinging at the end wins!”
“Ooh, a stamina battle,” Nick grins. “You know, I was the best at those. I—”
“Three!” Barret cuts off, walking back a bit and starting to swing.
“Oh, cheap shit!” Nick pouts, starting to swing as well.
The two don’t go very high for a bit, both trying to conserve energy, but then Barret turns to the other.
“You know,” it smiles innocently, “We can add a rule to speed this up if you’d like.”
Hook…
“Oh yeah? Like what?” Nick asks, sounding ready to be challenged.
Perfect.
“Well… I was thinking whoever could reach the highest point first could win instead. Endurance be damned, you know? All power, all the time.”
Line…
Nick smirks dangerously. “Oh, you are so fucking on!”
Sinker.
Nick immediately starts pushing at his swing harder. Barret does as well, but nowhere near as much.
This was Barret’s favorite mind game. Nick couldn’t say no to a challenge. It was like, coded into his brain or something. But, whenever he needed it to, it always worked in Barret’s favor.
“You’re never gonna beat me like that, Bar!” Nick calls, swinging higher and higher. Barret hums, but stays firm in its moderate height. It could go higher if that was what it was actually aiming for, but…
Well, that wasn’t the plan was it?
The two of them swing for minutes. Barret is calm as it enjoys its time, but Nick is slowly starting to lose height. He goes and goes as hard as he can, but he never quite reaches the peak. And then, just as Barret knew he would, he stops pumping his legs and lets the swing naturally slow to a stop, panting.
Barret smiles wide. “So,” it breathes, starting to slow as well, “What do you want from McDonalds?”