Summary: Leaf’s life: a short memoir.

WC: 1,285

Trigger Warnings: verbal abuse, domestic abuse child abuse and childhood trauma




The first time Leaf remembers blinking into real, proper existence was when a glass vase shatters right next to Paige’s head, water splashing on him and flowers falling to the floor. He’s about 5, if Leaf recalls correctly.

The sudden loud smashing directly next to him sends Paige into such a panicked state, he’s glued to the floor. Mack is still yelling, still throwing things, still being Mack.

It’s then when Leaf notices the driver’s seat is empty, Paige having recoiled so badly out of fear he couldn’t do anything anymore.

So, it was time for Leaf to step up.

Pushing his way to the front, Leaf is quick to recover in Paige’s shoes. He dashes out of the way before Mack can send another glass his way. Paige himself doesn’t seem to process the fact that he’s being moved, curled up in a ball with how scared he was.

That was okay though. It didn’t really matter right now.

Leaf gets them out of dodge as quickly as he can, little legs carrying them only so fast. While Mack’s voice gets more muffled after Leaf runs into their room and shuts the door behind them, he can still hear him.

“USELESS!” shouts the warped voice. “You think you’re everything, but you’re nothing! You’re nothing and you’ll never be nothing, either!”

Leaf clutches his head, cringing. Loud. He was loud, loud, loud. Much too loud. Leaf was supposed to be here to help protect Paige, but he was quickly getting overwhelmed himself.

He makes a dive towards their small bed and grabs Paige’s teddy bear before hiding under the covers and pulling their pillow over their ears. Mack’s voice is a lot more muffled now, indiscernible.

Thank god.

+++

Of course, with the way Mack was, Leaf had been here for a good couple of minutes. When exactly he had formed, he was unsure, but he knew he was here for one reason: keep Paige safe.

So, when Mack would yell and shout, Leaf would urge Paige to run away instead of staying in one place. It took a while for Paige to properly listen when he would do as such, but eventually he’d start running the second Leaf thought it.

Progress like that was what helped Leaf form fully, a similar twin to Paige, just… a lot more red. It was a comforting color to Leaf, for whatever reason. He could never quite put his finger on it.

+++

Paige is… almost 6? When he becomes friends with Kevin. Fast friends, in fact. Though he would hang out with Brandon seemingly at all times, Kevin was there almost as much. Brandon and Kevin didn’t mix too well though, so there would be a lot of times Paige would have to choose or split his time between the two of them.

Unfortunately, this was always a harrowing decision. Because Leaf really liked Kevin.

Don’t get him wrong, of course. Brandon was special to Paige and therefore he was special to Leaf, but Kevin was only 6 and cooler than half the adults who claimed to be cool were.

So, Leaf was always rooting for Kevin while Paige always wanted to spend time with both of them, but would ultimately choose Brandon if he had to.

To say the decision was tough was an understatement.

But, more often than not, all three children played together, even if the other two were a bit rougher with each other than Paige.

That was alright, though. Paige was content, so Leaf was as well.

+++

Paige gasps awake, causing Leaf to jolt to attention.

“STUPID WOMAN!” Paige hears through the thin walls. He immediately recoils, already close to tears.

Oh boy. Time to step in.

“You’re going to make me do something I’ll regret, you know that?” booms Mack. “‘Cause I’m not trying to go to jail, y’know? So a manslaughter case? Heh, not really on my to-do list!”

Paige pushes himself back into a little mental corner as Leaf takes the reins. He’s not sure if Paige quite realizes what’s happening yet, but Leaf does what he can to muffle the noise.

The fact he can’t hear their mom’s responses is a little worrying, but he pushes it to the back of his mind as he gathers up the comforter and pillows. He then goes into the small closet that was in Paige’s room, shuts the door, pulls the covers over them, and lays down on the floor. A hum of static begins to fill the space where Mack’s voice once was.

Leaf sighs.

Looks like they’d be sleeping in here tonight.

+++

Mack dies one day.

He hits his head on a guardrail of all things.

Dead on arrival.

“...was it quick?” Paige asks.

“I think so,” their mom answers.

Leaf’s laugh bubbles to the surface just a bit. “Hmph,” he chuckles. “It should’ve been long. It should’ve been painful. It should’ve hurt.”

Everyone is understandably confused by Paige’s sudden animosity. They didn’t know that the majority of it was Leaf, of course, but Paige was just as relieved. Just as happy.

+++

Leaf passively exists with Paige for years. He enjoys the things Paige enjoys for the most part, so his influence over the other is minimal. Brandon and Kevin don’t know it, but they soon become Leaf’s friends as well. He plays a pretty good Paige, and when the boy is either exhausted or overwhelmed with the play, Leaf would slip in and continue where he’d left off.

It’s honestly a pretty good system they have going on. Paige is naturally a head-in-the-clouds kind of person, so he explains away gaps in his memory with the idea that he’d simply spaced out or fallen asleep for a moment.

Hey, whatever worked.

While Paige tended to hover near Brandon, Leaf tended to hover near Kevin. They’d have back and forths about this almost everytime they wanted to hang out.

Until middle school.

Kevin was cool and all, but nobody had stood up for Paige like Brandon.

He was strong. He would fight off bullies and put them in their place. He would make sure Paige would stay safe.

Leaf really liked Brandon.

So, feeling safe in the knowledge that Brandon would protect Paige, Leaf takes a backseat for quite some time. He watches from afar and studies the way Brandon fights. Jabs, gut punches, quick slaps… Leaf gathers these things together and practices them at night after Paige has mostly dozed off.

More than anything though, he practices Brandon’s signature move, the uppercut.

It was really hard to get right. With nothing physically stopping his fist, Leaf ends up putting way too much vigor into it and jumping with it. He then proceeds to either 1) land precariously on his feet or 2) slip and fall with the surprise of having thrown the punch that hard.

The latter happened a lot more than the former.

But that wasn’t going to stop Leaf. Brandon wouldn’t always be there for Paige after all. There was going to be some moment in time where he just wasn’t around, and Paige would have to deal with things by himself.

Heh. Not on Leaf’s watch.

He throws another punch, determined.

He ends up on the floor in a heap.

+++

The very next time Leaf startles into consciousness, Kevin is laying on the floor, leg bent at an odd angle.

Paige is distraught.

Leaf is furious.

Paige wants to cry.

Leaf wants to hurt.

Paige stomps his foot.

Leaf imagines doing the same to whoever did this to Kevin.

Paige visits Kevin in the hospital.

Leaf leaves Kevin in the hospital.

Paige receives his last note of the week.

Leaf receives his permission to break someone’s leg.







Next up... AAIYSA ch 16-22